my life's theme

if you ever need to script my life to a song someday... let it be this.

The Color Run - Twin Cities 2013

Kim and I were up at 5 am to head over to the Minnesota State Fairgrounds for the 2013 Twin Cities Color Run!  We volunteered for the morning shift to throw color and we chose PiNK!  The weather was overcast and we were very thankful. 

This is the morning crew, looking pretty clean, but excited!  After almost 2-1/2 hours of nonstop people coming through our color, we were all color and exhausted.  The year before I ran The Happiest 5k on the Planet with Lorraine and Ginny, so I figured I could give back this year and volunteer instead.  If I make it for a third year, I may choose something less colorful for volunteering and then run again in the afternoon. 

If you haven't been a part of it, you may not see the fascination with getting filthy full of gorgeous colors, right?  But when you're part of something larger than life and full of happy, smiley people...  just for a moment you can be a kid again and enjoy the moment!  Adults wearing tu-tu's, some carrying onesies in front of their baby bellies for future babies, children running in full color.  Simply crazy, wonderful fun.  I even saw a few people come through with a small canvas collecting color.  Great idea for some wall art and/or matted frame of a photo from the day.

This event sells out every year, in every city.  Something amazing for charity happening here.

doors & windows

Live now

Let go of the need for things to be a particular way, and enjoy life just as it is. Let go of the assumption that you must always have something more, and find true enjoyment in all that is already in your life.

Dream big, meaningful dreams and make detailed, effective plans for bringing those dreams about. Live forward toward those dreams, but don’t ever postpone your enjoyment of life.

You are worthy of the very best that is in this moment, so fully accept it and experience it. This moment is worthy of the best that’s within you, so generously give of yourself.

Live the value that is your life right now. Even in the most ordinary moments, life is as rich and fulfilling as you choose to make it.

If you’re always waiting for later, or for things to get better, you’ll miss out on the very opportunities that will lift you ever higher. Instead, have confidence in the value of where you now are and what you now have.

Live now, and live as if you are the richest person who has ever lived. Because when you do, you are.

— Ralph Marston

Ready to get "blissed out" baby!

Today will be a great day! 
This weekend, even better!   

Leaving work early to road trip it five hours from Minneapolis to Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. I am generally not a fan of road trips {especially as a passenger} but will make the trek with my girlfriend Ginny riding shotgun!  We lucked out and found a last minute room and will be staying at the Grand Geneva, where the Yoga Journal conference is being held.

Ginny and I are both signed up for six sessions, only parting ways once - she will do a chataraunga class {something I'm not quite ready to master and do not wish to make a fool of myself trying} and I will get out of my comfort zone and try yoga with music* instead.  Our weekend ends late afternoon Sunday and then we drive home.  I'll be dragging tail come Monday morning, but this opportunity is soooo worth it!  Time with a girlfriend to zen out, work on our yoga postures and leave the cares of regular life behind us for three days.

M1EZRA | Maty Ezraty
Shoulder Openers and Alignment | Asana practice with discussion.
(Therapeutic, Mixed levels)(Sat, 8:00am-10:00am)

M2JOHN | Sean Johnson & The Wild Lotus Band
The Groove Is in the Heart: Heart-Opening Vinyasa Practice 
Mostly asana with chanting. (Mixed levels)(Sat, 10:30am-12:30pm)

M3CRAN | Jason Crandell:
Opening Your Hips and Aligning Your Shoulders
Mostly asana (Mixed Levels, Beginners)(Sat, 3:30pm-5:30pm)

M4FOLA | Lilias Folan
The Joy Is in the Journey | Teachers welcome to take notes.
(Mixed Levels)(Sun, 8:00am-10:00am)

M5CORN | Sean Corn
Yoga for a Broken Heart | Practice and discussion.
(Mixed Levels)(Sun, 10:30am-12:30pm)

M6CRAN | Jason Crandell
Moving Toward Stillness
Mostly asana with discussion. (Mixed Levels)(Sun, 3:30pm-5:30pm)

*My second session on Saturday will be the one with the music of Sean Johnson & The Wild Lotus Band {playing in the background of the video above}.  Just might have to add a CD to my retail-therapy shopping bag while perusing the vendors this weekend. 

Signing off the blogosphere after midday Friday and blissing out....

SEE YOU NEXT WEEK!

Illusions...

One of my favorite songs of childhood memory (when my mother used to listen to Joni Mitchell's original).

Clouds.  Love.  Life.

I really don't know...  {insert above}    at all.

 "...something's lost, but something's gained in living every day..."

carpe diem, my friends!

Mindy Gledhill's version

I think I've mentioned Mindy's music before...  love her!

{help} she cried from under the pile

Feeling a bit overwhelmed with clutter lately.  I detest clutter, but you'd never know it by looking through my house some days.  Can you relate?  Aren't we all pack-rats, to a certain degree?  Maybe it's your basement that's filled with stuff, or your garage that overflows each summer as items fall from the rafters.  Godforbid we admit that our MINDS are cluttered too?!  How do we go about letting go of things...  and generally they're just that...   things.

The item does not replace the person who died.  The faded pink carnation tucked between the pages of the funeral announcement.  The brown, torn-edged old photograph, unless marked, scanned and put into a book, will one day fall away and not make sense to the fourth generation child who has inherited it.  What about the relics your cherish because they were handed down to you and the guilt is just too much.  However could you part with it?!  Surely Uncle Al would roll over in his grave if he knew you were going to donate the rock tumbler he polished agates with back in the day!?!

But folks, say it with me...  its just stuff!  Collecting dust on top of stuff.  The relics have been losing their value year after year.  I know this to be true because I have been cleaning out my basement recently and looked up the value of some of the stuff I've accumulated.  It's simply not worth the effort to list and resell it.  Unless you make a living that sort of thing, maybe.  Laughing at yourself when you see finally something on Antique Road Show that also sits in your basement just isn't worth dedicating space to it year after year.

The boys have seen the show about hoarding and asked me once, "Mom, are we hoarders?"  Um, no honey.  Not.yet.  Bwhahahaha.  Okay, never.  I don't buy things to bring them home and then never use them again.  But I can see where {prior to my recent accomplishments in the unfinished basement} they might have thought we were.

Oh, I know where I got my trait from...   believe me...  and while he will remain nameless, he will be celebrated this Sunday {in case you want to guess}.  Would you believe that while sitting on my patio last night reading a magazine that often clutters my mailbox (and honestly, I have no idea how I got on the mailing list) that I discovered a stool in a catalog that just might be in aforementioned man's house?  No joke.  And now it's called Vintage and they're selling it for over $129, depending on the style!  Downright crazy.  Heck, if I am looking to purchase something vintage, it might just be a phone call and 10 minute ride away...  but, I digress.

In the years we have lived @3513 we have not touched 90% of the boxes in our basement.  Most of which hold treasures untold, some with monetary value, most...  not so much.  Heck, I've even got a box labeled "deep storage" filled with remnants of my first marriage.  Why??  I have absolutely NO idea!!  Might have to toss it without even opening it up (it's pretty heavily taped shut).  So it has been my self-imposed quest to clean it up and move it out this summer!  I've moved them around from one corner to another until I get the place where the stuff isn't mine to throw away...  and I get discouraged and stop.  However, it's time...  time to get rid of it all (or rent a storage locker for what is left and make him pay for the monthly fee to keep his clutter).  Our city's free haul-away day is on my birthday this year and I couldn't think of a more freeing gift to myself to make it happen!!

At the risk of exposing myself to ridicule and laughter, I'm going to link up the video I took of my basement this past weekend.  I am feeling good about the progress I've made and hopefully will inspire someone else to crawl out from underneath the piles too!

Carpe Diem!

PS:  Please don't buy me anything for my bday this year!
(unless it can be consumed)

Sunshine & Dragonflies

I received a surprise package in the mail yesterday...  all the way from the foothills of sunny California.  Contained within was a goodie bag of "sun" products for use on our vacation next week and a beautifully carved wooden ring with dragonflies painted on it.  The saying on the card that came with the ring was very...  apropos?  If you know me or have been following along you know that I am at somewhat of a crossroads in my life.  I won't classify it as a midlife crisis, because it's not (even though I'm technically approaching what could be MY midlife).  However, with all things great and wonderful that have been accomplished in my life in the last 5-10 years, it is definitely time to re-evaluate where I am GOING in the next 5-10 years.

So my thanks to you, Chrissy, for such a beautiful reminder that will adorn my finger and remind me that the best is yet to come!!

The Dragonfly represents maturity and a depth of character. The dragonfly, in almost every part of the world, symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization; and the kind of change that has its source in mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of life.  The traditional association of Dragonflies with water also gives rise to this meaning to this amazing insect.  The Dragonfly's scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what's on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life.

I am...

• fierce, yet timid
• confident, but afraid
• happy, and discontent
• in love, but craving more
• know God, but hardly enough as I should
• fulfilling dreams, keeping secrets
• a patchwork quilt, unfinished and beautiful 

My life's path has certainly been a winding road.  Am I really almost 43 years old?  Have I learned anything worth sharing?  Along the way, I've loved & lost, stumbled & got back up, divorced & remarried. Wondered if I was the only one on Earth feeling such pain and heartache. Discovered that answered prayers, sometimes mean that the answer is No!, or not now, or be patient.  

Interestingly enough, I knew the answers to most of my questions asked.  Don't we all?  If we dig deep, we know that anything really worth it doesn't usually come easily.  It's all hard work.  The end is only glorious because of the lessons we've learned, the mountains moved and the rivers forged to get there!

There are very few who know my life's story.  I certainly keep a lot of secrets.  Or maybe it's just knowing who to share parts of my life with, who will judge, and who will accept.  Why would anyone want to share in my past pain?  Who could possibly learn from it?  Empathize?  Cast stones?  Want to read my blog?  Is it for me?  Them?  My boys or family?

I see Mommy blogging as a way to capture the essence of who we are...  who we want to be...  our dreams yet unfulfilled and lives left to live.  I find myself lost in others' stories online, relatable in some ways, distant in others, but all beautiful and living in their own unique way.  At times it feels as if I've known some of these women for years, their words spilling into my ears, about life, motherhood, children, careers ~ albeit all through only written media.  I want to reach out to these women.  Have coffee on their porch, extend a hug of familiarity, pray with them.  Share with them.

Why such longing in my life lately?  What am I missing?  So many unanswered questions.

I am.  A piece of work.

Had a great weekend in NYC "living our best lives" - details soon!

Live Your Best Life Weekend

I am flying out to NYC to celebrate ME this weekend.  Meeting Liesl in Midtown and we are going to have a blast, I can just feel it!

I arrive into JFK around 10 am on Friday and will take the train into Manhattan.  Meeting up at noon, we will check into our hotel and then wander the city for the afternoon. I am looking forward to street vendors, pizza, cupcakes and all things Big Apple!  In the evening we will also get our registration materials for the remainder of our LYBL event.

On Saturday, we have life workshops during the day.  Due to our late registration, we had limited choices, but I am happy with who we will get to go see.

In the evening, we are on our own for dinner but will go to Radio City Music Hall for an 8:00 - 10:00 pm celebration.  They requested the participants to wear cocktail attire for the evening.  Trying to travel light and unsure of the changing weather forecast, this might pose a challenge for me!  Time to coordinate and get creative, I guess.

On Sunday, Oprah is sponsoring a charity walk that starts very early in the morning!  We will re-energize with 10,000 other people and walk a 2-mile course that is due to end early morning.  After we've made our way back to the hotel from this fun-filled LYBL event, we are headed to Liesl's house to spend Mother's Day with her family.

On Monday, my travels take me on a layover through Baltimore and I am super excited to get to spend some time & have lunch with my friend Kathy!

I cannot imagine why this LYBL weekend was planned for Mother's day weekend, but I am taking advantage of a once-in-a-lifetime Oprah girls' weekend away.  So, yes, I am being selfish this year on Mother's Day.  And I am thankful that my mother will be taken care of by my family and vice versa.

Life is good.

Embrace it.

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.                                                                                                                                    ~ King Witney Jr.

How do you deal with change?  Do you retreat?  Fight it?  Accept it or challenge it?  If there's one thing I've learned growing up it's that change is constant.  I seem to recall that back in the day we were not taught to embrace change.  It was something to be feared.  The unknown is scary, I get that, but change is good.  And by golly, if we're not changing, we're dead.

I'm not one for confrontation.  I guess that's why I steer away from the whole political debate going on right now with health care.  Sure, I have my opinions, but I'm not sure that by voicing them in a negative manner they will hold any more weight than they do right now inside my brain.  Our elected government officials, try as they might, are not acting in a bipartisan way.  I'm actually not sure I'll see that ever in my lifetime.  The bickering and finger-pointing just gets downright old.  I haven't watched the news in weeks.  Months, maybe.  I can't stand the negativity of it all.  So instead, I pray.  I pray for those who need God's guidance in this debate.  For those who are ill and need someone to have a heart and heal them with their medical knowledge and skilled hands.  But most of all, I pray that this Country (tis of Thee) will get a grip...  and realize that change is constant...  change is good.  And to meet somewhere in the middle to unite on these issues is far better than continued bickering!

Reality is setting in now, as the focus shifts from the political fight to the substance of this reform. The benefits are tangible. Parents with sick children will soon be entitled to buy coverage at a reasonable cost. Insurers will be forbidden from canceling coverage for those who fall seriously ill, or to impose lifetime limits on their care. Most important, 32 million Americans who can’t afford insurance today will get coverage.

Yes, the reform will force wealthier people to pay higher taxes. And its success hinges on controlling costs, which will take years to unfold. But the discussion is heading back to the planet Earth. On that ground, Democrats who supported this reform will do just fine.

                                                                                                                               source

My Oz

It's come to my attention again recently that I am the "wind beneath (your) wings" more often than I care to admit. Don't get me wrong. I love that role. But it's time for a change. What does that mean, exactly? Well, let's just say I have no problem supporting everyone else's causes but when it comes to my own, I cannot seem to find the yellow brick road to my Oz. Sure, I'm good at it. I have put 110% into everything I've done to get to where I am today. I am the caretaker. The breadwinner. The stable one. And now that I'm finished with school, through with my six-month mentoring circles at work... the "What's Next?" is screaming at me so loudly I cannot find ear muffs strong enough to hold me back.

So, I am officially putting myself out there. I am at the end of my rope being the "best admin" (aka glorified secretary) that I can be. It's been 24 years. It's only natural that I'm good at what I do after all this time. However, I think I'm long overdue for a career change, don't you? And to make it seemingly more like a faraway dream, a fairytale just beyond reach, the economy isn't allowing me to make this change. I can tap together my size 9, red-glittered shoes, but it's not happening. And I need this change now! I'm tired of being patient.

Now, before you tell me I can do anything I put my mind to, think again. I need your help. This time I am asking YOU to be the wind beneath *my* wings. I embrace change. I'm ready for it. Craving something new. And for some reason, my resume is just not speaking to my lofty goals, ambitious dreams and the glorious person that I know I can be on the path to my Oz. I am parched.  Thirsty for change, challenge and all things empowering.

I've got what it takes to be an over-achieving Community Relations Specialist, or an exceeds-expectations public relations team member.  (And yes, I realize that this is still in a support role.)  If you know of someone looking for an incredible talent, who is willing to pay for those skills and take a chance on what could be, with a dynamo leader willing to stretch and grow beyond her wildest dreams, please send them my way!

I am closing my eyes and trusting.
I am throwing a fistful of (virtual) glitter in the air!
I always look fear in the face ~ and challenge it head-on.
I don't want to pass the point of no return...

It's my turn.

Glitter In The Air lyrics found at elyricsworld.com

Glitter in the Air, by P!NK

Be a Blessing, Live the Dash

Do you believe in premonitions?  I had a dream this weekend that someone emailed me a name of someone who died.  The name was spelled out in ALL CAPS.  When I woke, I thought I remembered the name, but the more I thought about it that day, the name became less clear.  They say things come in three...  but I only know of two individuals recently who have passed away.  I've been told that I should ignore such premonitions.  Perhaps that's a good thing for this week.

This past Wednesday, January 27th, two friends lost their Mothers.  One lived to be 98 and the other 85.  What a wonderful blessing to their daughters that they lived such a full life.  The stories that can be told and retold in years to come, the humor that was passed down from generation to generation, and most of all the LOVE that bonded mother to daughter.  Peace be with you wonderful women.

"...that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life" John 3:15

My great-grandmother lived to be 94.  My grandmother, 93.  My mother...  she wants to die before 90.  I guess I don't blame her as I've often thought the same thing.  But I guess as long as I've got my health - why not carry on the tradition of living long enough to be a blessing.  And live "the dash".  I love you, Mom.

My Strengths

As I finish up the final four weeks to my BA in Organizational Leadership, we are working on further developing our strengths as individuals and leaders.  According to the survey based on Rath & Conchie's Strengths-Based Leadership, the following are my top five:

My Top 5 Strengths

• Positivity
• Communication
• Input
• Adaptability    
• Woo

Positivity
People who are especially talented in the Positivity theme have an enthusiasm that is contagious. They are upbeat and can get others excited about what they are going to do.

Communication
People who are especially talented in the Communication theme generally find it easy to put their thoughts into words. They are good conversationalists and presenters.

Input
People who are especially talented in the Input theme have a craving to know more. Often they like to collect and archive all kinds of information.

Adaptability
People who are especially talented in the Adaptability theme prefer to “go with the flow.” They tend to be “now” people who take things as they come and discover the future one day at a time.

Woo
People who are especially talented in the Woo theme love the challenge of meeting new people and winning them over. They derive satisfaction from breaking the ice and making a connection with another person.

The premise behind the learning and discovery of leadership in this book is this:

"Chances are," write Rath and Conchie, "you will have many opportunities to lead during your own lifetime. As you will learn, the path to great leadership starts with a deep understanding of the strengths you bring to the table."

For those that know me, would you agree that my strengths lie in relationship management? I was not surprised at all, and this is a report based on how I answered 177 questions posed in the survey.  The four areas of potential fall into:  executing, influencing, relationship building, and strategic thinking.  Of all the areas, the only one that I had no strengths fall into were executing. 

According to the Gallup Management Journal, this new book destroys myths and "The research concluded that spending time building strengths was far more productive than logging countless hours shoring up weaknesses, and it created a virtual revolution in the way people think about their natural talents." This only validates what I've already assumed and sums up my attitude of life, I believe, in focusing on strengths and not weaknesses.  Think positive.  Glass half full (always).  Carpe diem. 

This book further reflects that people who report having a chance to use their strengths in the workplace are likely to reap the benefit of a "cumulative advantage" of having higher income, higher job satisfaction, and even better health over time.  As I find myself halfway to when retirement SHOULD be, I wonder if I'll ever fully reap these said benefits.  I can't complain, mind you, as life has been very good for me in the job-realm.  But will I ever find what I'm supposed to be doing with my talents and leadership potential?  It's as if I'm waiting for the acorn to fall from the sky and knock me over the head...  or a fortune cookie to explain (in seven words or less) what dream career will be laid out before me at the end of this rainbow of education.

Still no closer to the find the answer answer to
what I want to be when I grow up.

Heck, lately I've been asking myself if maybe I'm already there?

When it comes right down it... I am learning that I should continue to focus my strengths as a leader on my ability to influence and work a relationship.  I guess I'm still a work in progress.

Stay tuned.

What a glorious day the Lord hath made...

I survived another birthday.  No wait.  What I meant to say was, I celebrated another birthday!!  I took the day off from work, as I do every year, and spent the entire day in celebration.  After we kicked the kids out the door to school, we headed to the Aveda Institute for a rejuvenating facial.  Awesome.  Ninety minutes of luxury that I rarely afford myself the time or expense to indulge.  It was JP's first time and I think he's hooked too!  We both upgraded during our service to include a micro-dermabrasion and came out positively glowing on the other side. 

Afterward, we walked over to Whitey's Saloon in NE Minneapolis for a bite to eat.  JP enjoyed a nice-sized salad and I had a Monte Cristo with raspberry dipping sauce.  I was a MC virgin, I must admit.  But at least now I know that I am definitely not a fan.  At least now I can say I tried it...  however, there's something wrong about powdered sugar on a soggy sandwich.  The combination just doesn't seem appealing to me.  The ambience was a sight to take in as well...  large, scantily clad lady towering overhead with a No Smoking sign dangling from her hand...  and what seemed like the regular lunch crowd.  All in all, a good morning.

Caught the movie, Julie & Julia with my mother in the afternoon.  Nice show.  Meryl Streep placed a very convincing Julia Child.  It was good to get out and meet up with Mom.  After all, it's her day to celebrate my birth too!  My favorite line from the movie is one that Julia Child said as she toasted her husband, Paul:  "You are the bread to my butter, the breath to my life."

For dinner we picked up take-out from Jin's Chow Mein in the Crystal Shopping Center.  Four out of five us now eat Chinese (Oliver still refuses)...  so to feed a hungry family for under $25, it's a deal not to be missed.  Dessert was out on the patio for JP and I.  He smoked a cigar and we enjoyed a night cap and brownie.  And for those of you keeping track, yes, this is the second meal that we had not prepared at home in one day.  It's a bad week for the wasitline.  What's the old saying, "A waist is a terrible thing to mind" ~ well, let's just say the diet starts next week!  We are going out for dinner again on Friday night and Saturday night to continue the birthday celebrations.  This is how I cook for JP.  Ha.  By making reservations.

I managed to take Chloe for two walks too!  She was a happy little puppy when she heard her collar jingle more than once!  I put on my new Nike+ipod tennis shoes and walked over a mile around the school.  The weather was perfect.  Well, my definition of a perfect day:  76* and partly-cloud.  Thanks be to God.

Throughout the day I also received countless birthday wishes on my Facebook page, as well as emails and gifts left behind on my desk at work.  Ah, the good life.  I am blessed.  I am loved.  Thank you to all who remembered me and celebrated with me, however near or far.

Side note:  I have my youngest convinced that a woman ages backwards, while a man ages forward.  So because I am such a convincing mother, they now think that I am 28.  Well, Oliver does. Sorry JP.  You're not getting any younger on Sunday.

life is good.

Envy, Dreams & Goals

Have you watched The Bucket List yet? Two of my favorite actors are in it, Jack & Morgan, so of course I watched it! I like the concept. I'm not afraid of dying, but dying alone frightens me. I liked how they found one another in this movie and followed through on their list together. Friends & family, in the end, is what it's all about. It's all worth living only if we feel good about the journey we traveled to get to the end. Right?

So I just stumbled across this man's site, Ian Usher. Amazing. Simply amazing. And gutsy. He sold "his life" on eBay and is out to travel the world. Could you do it? It's somewhat similar to the Bucket List but Ian is starting out much younger in his quest for happiness in a new, life-changing journey. He has added in some philanthropy and will get many followers in the coming weeks and months. I'm a tad jealous. Of course, I have no idea how he got where he is today and wouldn't give up my life, lessons and journey for the world; but I envy his spunk and tenacity. Go Ian!

My motto has always been carpe diem ~ Seize the Day!
Don't wait until tomorrow...

live

for

today