Pearls & Irony

And so, while we waited for the kids to enjoy a couple of hours at the pool on Sunday we sat in the library.  After the people-watching, I walked by a shelf somewhere between gardening and puppy training and found the following titles:

Back home, I was sitting in my chair with my 1.25+ readers on, a picture of my Mother in a red hat as a bookmark, and opened a book.  These words screaming...  jumping at me off the page:

Are you one of us?

You look around and see that the world has changed somehow.  The first husband, gone.  Perhaps the second has followed like a penny thrown after one already lost.  The exciting career you sacrificed so much for has lost some of its luster.  Should you give it all up, shift gears, try something new?  At your age?  You've begun to count the years until retirement.  In the mirror, a reflection you hardly recognize...

Here you are:  midway, midlife, on the cusp, resting from the uphill climb, ready to coast.  You've made it this far, haven't you?  You've learned some things.  You've earned a rest.

But, then, the parents are aging.  They need a little more of your time, perhaps to move them into a smaller home (what is in all of those boxes in the basement?)...

...instead of kicking back, you find yourself kicking in, finding another hour before bed to arrange for your mother's care, another hour before dawn to exercise, another hour come Sunday to make love, do the laundry, pay the bills, finish the novel, and, perhaps, take a walk, take a deep breath, appreciate the life you have made for yourself.

You circle the block, the neighborhood, the lake.  You end up right back where you began.

Are you lost?  Are you found?

Kiss Tomorrow Hello, Notes from the Midlife Underground by Twenty-Five Women Over Forty
Edited by Kim Barnes and Claire Davis

And so it goes, on and on in this book of stories from women who have gone before us.  Irony?  or pearls of wisdom?  I've only just begun reading it, but it seems so apropos.

Looking in the mirror each morning, I no longer see a 29 year old me.  The good news is that I feel only slightly older than 29 after the last five years of changes to my body.  Certainly, I'm a little in denial that the woman staring back at me from the the looking glass is almost forty-four years old.  Middle age.  Really?  When did I get here?  Where am I going?  The women on the maternal side of my family have lived into their 90's, so I am fast approaching the middle of my life.  Heck, I could very well BE here.

Too many unanswered questions have my mind reeling lately.  Am I living the dash?  Re-evaluating my life is exhausting most days.  Am I happy?  Absolutely, positively YES.  Am I where I thought I'd be at this time in my life?  Honestly...  no.  The economy has me worried that I may never see retirement.  Heck, I cannot even count the days until retirement if they keep pushing the age out.  But with JP being nine years my senior, my retirement should come that much sooner, right?  I mean, I really want to live life with my husband, after the kids have grown and moved out.  I certainly don't want to work for another 28 years.

So we live within our means, and look beyond the reflection in the mirror each morning...  but certainly, we do not want to cheat ourselves the opportunity to live the dash.  Because face it ladies, we're not getting any younger.  It's what we DO with our wisdom come midlife {and so rightfully earned}, that matters most!

And in case you were wondering....   yes, I checked them all out.

Deal or No Deal?

My boys have fallen out of the habit of reading. Truth be told, it's never BEEN a habit. With school just around the corner, it's time to start! I wonder why the kids don't like reading? Is it the constant draw of something faster, bigger, better in the electronics world that makes them say that "reading is boring" nowadays? I just don't get it.

To help THEM get it, I am instituting a new rule this month and for all time going forward. No electronics until they've completed 30 mintues of reading, daily. Period. I keep trying to tell them that reading is the foundation for all of their school work. You cannot excel at math if you don't know how to read. You cannot get lost in social studies and go on an adventure, if you don't know how to read. You cannot play the trumpet or sing, if you don't know what pianissimo or forte means.

We've taken trips to the library this summer and looked for adventure, series books, or anything that is beyond pictures that will capture and hold their attention. I think that we might have found it for Henry (Diary of a Wimpy Kid) but are still searching for Oliver. I'll take suggestions, if you have any?!

Funny how I am looking forward to a day this fall when I can read for pleasure again. I want to get lost in a book (that isn't a textbook) and spend an hour snuggled on a couch with a good novel. Hopefully I can get them to join me in this life-long habit too!

So, what will it be boys? Deal or No Deal?!

How Starbuck's Saved My Life

No kidding. A movie title coming to a theater near you in 2012... starring none other than Tom Hanks. This, according to IMDB and Tom's page. Can you believe the man has no less than 11 movies in the works... eleven?! Wow.

"This is the true, surprising story of an old white man who was kicked out of the top of the American Establishment, by chance met a young African-American woman from a completely different background, and came to learn what is important in life. He was born into privilege on the affluent Upper East Side of Manhattan, she into poverty in the projects in Brooklyn. He once had a high-powered advertising job and now had nothing; she came from the streets and now had succeeded - so much so that she was able to offer a stranger a chance to change himself. This is my story, and like all surprising stories, it starts with an accident."

This book I might just read before it comes to the big screen.