my wish

Today isn't just any other day.
I used to think it was, and then a light bulb went off one year.
I watched people wish their birthday away.
They didn't celebrate, they didn't want to acknowledge it.
Well, folks...
Life is too short.
That is when my life's mantra began...  Carpe Diem!

I don't go to work on the 24th of September any longer.
I haven't in quite some time, actually.
I stay home. Or go out. I get pampered, or do nothing.
Most of all, I choose to celebrate.... me.

If you ask me what I want for my birthday,
I will tell you it's nothing material that I wish for.
Things collect dust.  I want for nothing.  Honestly.
I could be grandiose and hope for world peace,
but that's, well, a bit grandiose.

So, instead, I will ask for you to do just something small.
It's simple, really. Costs nothing.

Smile.
Make someone's day, with a little kindness.
Be the pebble in the pond.
Pay it forward.
Love.
Say thank you.
Call your Mom, your sister, your Uncle, your best friend. Someone.
Call someone (not text, not email).  A voice carries so much joy.
Open the door for someone.
Find joy in your day.
Visit the elderly.
Sing a song.
Play a game of checkers with a child.
Tell someone you love them.
Be genuine.

Whatever YOU choose to do with your day,
this 24th day of September,
make a difference.  That is my wish.  
Leave a legacy, a footprint, a small part of yourself behind,
so that someone will look back a day in the future,
and recall the happiness you spread in the world.

In honor of my birthday,
if I've ever touched you in some way
over the past 45 years,
say a small prayer for me,
and then
do something bigger for someone else.
Be a blessing.

namaste.

Thursday's child has far to go!

Five years ago today, the days lined up exactly the same as this year, and the morning of the 26th was a Thursday!  It would be a very crazy morning, just ask my husband (*both of them!). 

I had been up the night before timing contractions with an online contraction timer.  Yes, folks, we have evolved that much.  Good thing, too, because I didn't want to wake anyone in the house to help me time and focus, as they needed all the sleep they could get!  However, by the time JP came down the stairs at 3:30 am for work, I told him he wasn't going to work and to start making telephone calls.

He called the OB's office, my parents to come watch the boys, my coach in labor, Kara, and last but not least...  baby daddy, Mister J!

The conversation on our end went something like this...
"It's baby day...  yes, today...  no, he's not waiting until induction day on Monday.  I suggest you get on the next plane to Minnesota.  By noon?  Well, if you want to see your baby born, I suggest you leave now."

After that, the morning was a blur.  My folks showed up to watch the boys.  JP got to drive me, yet again, to what he affectionately calls "the baby factory" to give birth to Little J.  Through the streets of Minneapolis, bump after bump after bump...  not breaking any driving laws, nor rushing through red lights this time, and we even beat the morning rush hour...  we pulled into the parking ramp about the same time Kara did. 

Hooked up to monitors and ready to go...  but Mister J wasn't there yet...  it didn't matter, baby boy had an agenda of his own.  Dr. E broke my water and we were a go!  Commotion heard from outside the room, and Mister J had just arrived with his Baby Nurse - phew!  All was going to happen as it should and he would see his son born.  He told us that he had to rush down the runway and exclaimed, "My wife is having a baby in Minneapolis, I need to get on that plane!" while being followed by female Baby Nurse...  the odd looks apparently provided much needed amusement to keep the brevity of the situation light during transit.

Once again, Little J had decided to change up the game plan... he was much bigger than we thought, and with decels in his heart rate, and a couple hours of attempted pushing, Dr. E decided that it was time for my first-ever c-section.  Folks, the thought had never even occurred to me that this surrogate pregnancy would end up there, on the operating table!  Also dumbstruck was Mister J in this new set of plans, "here, put these on, she will be down in the OR waiting for you, make it fast" and before I knew it, I was watching the ceiling lights float overhead and my husband was left standing in the doorway... 

Activity like I've never seen before broke out around me - heck, I'd never even seen the inside of an operating room, who am I kidding?!  Twice as many people were suddenly in the room with us - shift change!  Really?  Just our luck.  Dr. E wasn't very pleased about the timing of it all and sudden urgency was heard in her voice to make it snappy...  and then the first cut...

To say I wasn't just a little freaked out at this point would be a gross understatement.  I was calm on the outside, and freaking out on the inside. I knew that we had decided JP wouldn't join me in the OR (and hospital policy wouldn't allow me to have two people there), but I wanted my husband next to me.  Knowing that the man at my shoulder was focused on the action below the draped sheet at my midline...  well, suddenly everything around me became very real about this situation of helping another become a father.  But I had faith.  Dr. E had been my doctor for almost 20 years, and I knew I was in good hands.

Shortly after we started, Little J entered the world...  screaming, happy, healthy & into the arms of his Papa he went.  I survived my first c-section.  JP would later join me in recovery, and I had emotions wash over me like I never imagined.  Sure, I was prepared to hand over the life that had grown inside of me for the past nine months (and another few months of preparation that went into it)...  but, well, to not see more than a glimpse of him until the next day...  that, my friends, was raw...  still, I told myself that I was strong enough to get through this too... and I did.

Fast forward...  five years later...  today marks the anniversary of his BIRTHday...  Little C (name changed on the tarmac while waiting for gate clearance 24 hours after he was born) and I can only imagine that he is the most loved, spoiled and cherished little blond boy on the East Coast. 

This day will always hold a special place in my heart.  I welcomed a fourth little boy into the world...  three I had grown of my own, and one under my heart. 

Little did I know that it would be the beginning of an admittedly slight addiction to helping someone create a family.  After all, I had survived a c-section...  giving of life and love...  seeing the pure joy of a new family through the father's eyes...  I was hooked!

And blessed.

Happy Birthday, Little C!

May you be celebrating in style!

carrying Little C "on the outside" at 6 weeks old

gLoRiOuS

my morning commute was accompanied by this

gLoRiOuS

sunrise in my rear view mirror

When Contagious is Good

Happiness 

is contagious - catch it!

Do you believe it? 
Do YOU believe that you can make your own happy? 

There are lyrics below from a group I discovered called MaMuse.  I love their inspirational sound and listen to it often.  This morning I take particular comfort in the words of this Chico Gospel.  Once upon a time "I believed life was over for me".  Truly.  There have been many times in my life that I never thought I'd live to see another day.  It's incredible how if you pray... believe...  and choose to change your life around, it just might happen.  Sure we all go through some rough patches, and yes, the cliche of what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, yadda yadda...  but isn't it true? 

And if we believe that happiness can be ours, by taking another breath, another step...  and by making a daily habit to put a smile on our face and a song in our heart, it can be contagious. 

Chico Gospel

There was a time I believed
Life was over for me
There was time I believed
My life was over
I feel strong today
Thanks to your help
I'll find my way and
I too will lend you a hand
When you need one

Chorus:
Sometimes I get so down
I feel like
This the end
Like there's no way in hell
I can get over this mountain
The sun has come out
Beyond the shadow of my doubt
I am walking on this earth
Stronger than ever

There was a time I believed
There'd be no love for me
There was time I believed
I'd get no lovin'
I feel love today
Thanks to your help
I'll find my way and
I too will lend you a hand
When you need one

(Chorus)

There was a time I believed
There'd be no money for me
There was a time I believed
There'd be no money
I feel rich today
Thanks to your help
I'll find my way and
I too will lend you a hand
When you need one

(Chorus)

There was a time I believed
There'd be no peace for me
There was a time I believed
There'd be no peace
I feel peace today
Thanks to your help
I'll find my way and
I too will lend you a hand
When you need one

(Chorus)
I am walkin' on this earth stronger than ever
I am walkin' on this earth stronger than ever

So...  who caught my HAPPY?  and/or who made his own?  Henry!  It's such a heart-warming experience to see your child blossom before you...  to see him feel strong in his faith and who he is becoming...  

His first two nights of homework as evidence.

If you could meet 3 people who have died, who would it be... 
His number one answer...   

...JESUS...

this, in a public school, he's not afraid to say.

 

And in another class he was asked to write/color and index card.

One word that described Henry:

.happy.

life is good.

Today, I am... centered, focused and in balance.

I did it.

Did what?, you ask.

Nothing.

I did nothing.

For 15 whole minutes.

Well, okay - I tried to do nothing. 
Actually, I tried some yoga poses to bend the body, as well as the mind. 

The first step in The JOY Diet is to do nothing, and on Day 3, I finally managed to do it.  The boys left the house for choir.  I lit a lavendar "wood burning" candle, turned out the lights, put on Soundscapes and quieted my mind.  I listened to my breathing.  I stretched beyond physical boundaries.

Maybe this sounds simple to you.
Try it.
I implore you.
Unless you're already in the practice of doing nothing, it is not easy to do.

I get many comments about how busy I am, energetic and always running.
Sometimes all of that activity gets me into trouble and spread too thin.
I actually find FOCUS in being busy, as crazy as that sounds.
I have many irons in the fire and I am always looking for the next challenge.

But this year I vow to do nothing.
Well, okay...  at least for 15 minutes a day.